Tantric massage with feathers: gay massage?


It is unclear where the Spanish expression “having a feather” (to be camp or affected), used to refer to homosexuality, came from originally. Perhaps it is because feathers are soft and showy, attributes commonly considered to be feminine. So what has using feathers during a tantric massage have to do with gay massage? Suffice it to say that feathers have nothing to do with homosexuality, heterosexuality or bisexuality. However, from a tantric point of view, there is a lot more to it.

Throughout history, feathers have been featured on a variety of sacred, shamanic and religious objects. They have been depicted on Catholic rosaries and crucifixes, on the fans that decorated and honoured Native Americans, on Egyptian scarabs and on the prayer bracelets used by Tibetan monks. All kinds of feathers have been used in talismans and amulets, for protection, health, energy and strength – both physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Feathers have existed for millions of years on dinosaurs and birds, serving to protect them, insulate them from the cold and rain and enable them to fly. They also serve an important function during courtship and reproduction. The colours of their feathers, their brightness, and even their size, play an important role for birds when it comes to communicating, identifying and awakening sexual attraction.

Perhaps it is because of the important role that they play in birds’ sex life that feathers have been used in shamanic and sacred sex rituals. In some shamanic traditions, prior to the ritual, they activate the energy of the feather. To awaken this energy, the shaman touches the feather, caressing and making contact with it, and then blows on it. So do not hesitate to use a feather during a tantric or erotic massage, as birds are constantly cleaning and grooming their feathers and frequently renew their plumage.

Feathers are an excellent complement for a massage; they can be used before putting the oil on your skin, to stimulate it. See my tutorial article on how to give your partner an erotic gay massage, where I give you several tips on how to use feathers.


In the Tantric tradition, originally from India, when referring to masculine or feminine energy we are not simply referring to gender (men or women), but to the dual manifestation of universal energy. In Tantra this is called Shiva and Shakti. In another Eastern tradition, Taoism in China, it is referred to as Yin Yang.

In Tantra, which is a path of self-knowledge and liberation, the union between Shiva and Shakti is practiced, although this does not refer to the male and the female – this is a very superficial and limited interpretation. We come from the union, at least physical, of a man and a woman, and those two energies are within you. Even if you are not conscious of it, or reject part of that energy, it is there. Tantric massage is a path of harmony, which dissolves the duality between Shiva and Shakti, between the feminine and the masculine. Only once we are in connection with both of these energies, when they are dancing together, can we be at peace with ourselves and with our surroundings. True love happens when you dissolve the illusion of separation, and you accept the totality of which we are a part. The Tao, as they call it in China.

This a beautiful concept, but the reality is that in order to dissolve maya (the illusion of duality), we must first free ourselves from taboos, moral judgements and the programming of our minds by family, society, school, religions, etc. We need to overcome our fear of what they will say or whether it is right or wrong. We tend to label everything so that it fits into the mental framework that we have built. That is why there are men who do not dare to try a massage given by another man, because of the mental image of the male that they have created. Receiving a tantric massage man-to-man by a male masseur does not make you gay, any more than a woman-to-woman massage makes you a lesbian, or bisexual, or ‘less heterosexual’.

Once you understand that energy is simply energy, it does not matter who gives you a massage. The important thing is to become aware of what you feel, to open your mind and go outside your comfort zone, to experience and explore your sexuality. Trying new things helps to expand the mind.

Softness will not make you weak or vulnerable; it will not make you less of a man or a woman. Connecting with softness will allow you to become more flexible, to explore your sensitivity and make you stronger. The hardest trees break when a storm hits them, whereas flexible trees resist without breaking.

Remember that:

  • The softness of feathers teaches us to connect with our sensitivity
  • A feather massage is not a gay massage
  • Several traditions have used feathers in sacred rituals
  • The union of Shiva-Shakti is not the union of a man and a woman. Rather it refers to abandoning maya, the illusion of duality

In the following article we will look at the History of Lingam Massage.

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