EROTIC MASSAGE TUTORIAL
Have you ever thought about how to give your partner an erotic massage? There is no doubt that it is an excellent idea, but just how do you give a tantric massage? What are the techniques used during a sensual massage?
In this tutorial on how to do erotic massage as a couple I give you some basic tips so that you can start practicing. The aim of this mini-tutorial is not to go into erotic or tantric massage, but rather to provide a simple and clear guide that you can add to your foreplay. Later I will publish articles with more advanced techniques for Tantra and sexual healing, which are very effective in curing male anorgasmia, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or impotence in men. I will also cover tantric techniques to cure female anorgasmia, vaginitis or frigidity in women.
How to prepare for a Sensual Massage
This manual is divided into three parts. In the first part I will give you some tips on how to prepare yourself before the massage, so that everything goes perfectly. Then, in the second part, there are several tips on how to give a body massage. In the third and final part we will focus on the “happy ending“. Although this is obviously fun and pleasurable, I would like this to be more than just simple masturbation, and this is the aim of this erotic massage tutorial.
The first section covers the most important points to bear in mind before the massage:
- Plan ahead: decide on the day and the time beforehand, and write it down so that you do not forget it. This will prepare your bodies and minds in the days leading up to the massage. You can think about it, look forward to it and fantasize about it. You may also come up with some ideas for your massage session.
- Space: prepare the room ready for the massage. It is important that it be a quiet place, where there is no noise and you can relax. If this is very complicated at home, there is always the option of booking a hotel room. This is a moment of intimacy that you are treating yourself to.
- Temperature: ideally, the room should neither be too hot nor too cold. A moderate temperature helps your body to relax, opening your pores and allowing sexual energy to flow more easily. However, if it is too hot, it will be overwhelming and make you perspire, and sweat can be unpleasant. Bear in mind that, in general, whoever is receiving the massage will feel the cold more as they are not moving, especially women. When it’s your turn to give the massage, make sure the temperature is right for your partner. In any case, it doesn’t matter if you feel a bit warm when you are giving the massage; this is normal if you are exerting yourself and doing it with passion.
- Lighting: the lighting should be dimmed, but not dark, so that both of you can concentrate on the different sensations and stimuli you receive during the massage. If there is too much light you will not be able to block out the light by closing your eyes, making it difficult for you to focus on the other senses that we want to stimulate. You can use candles, salt lamps or even cover a small lamp with a handkerchief (being careful to make sure it does not burn). If you opt for candles make sure that they are large enough to last for the whole session, so that you are not left in the dark.
Which of our senses can we stimulate with an erotic massage?
–Sight: this is one of the senses that we should not stimulate. Our eyesight is over stimulated on a daily basis; by television, telephones, the internet, advertising, etc. Let it rest a little and this will increase the other senses.
–Touch: the skin is the largest organ in the body. It has many corners to explore, and many fun ways to do it. I recommend stimulating the skin before applying the oil and starting the massage. You can use feathers, fingertips, a handkerchief or sarong made out of soft fabric to stimulate your partner’s skin. You can also experiment with the sensations of cold, by using ice, and hot, by using hot stones or vigorously rubbing your hands before placing them on your partner’s body. Using your tongue is another option. For the more daring of you, try using slaps, or even whipping, in moderation in order to keep the atmosphere relaxed.
–Taste: you can play around with flavours if you like, as long as you don’t lose your concentration during the massage. Try fruit, drinks or other food delights as a supporting option to experiment with alternative stimuli.
–Smell: stimulating the sense of smell activates the pituitary gland, an important hormonal regulator. To stimulate this you can use incense (I recommend using only good quality incense), essential oils, rosewood, copal resin, sage, myrrh or scented candles (preferably of natural origin).
–Hearing: music is the main trigger that stimulates our hearing. Whispers are also effective; whisper sensual words, trying not to verbalize much so as not to distract your partner from the sensations they are feeling. The idea is to relax your partner’s mind and enhance their bodily sensations.
Where to do erotic massages as a couple
- Bed or tatami-futon: the best place to do an erotic massage is on a futon. Futons are comfortable for the person receiving the massage and they are also quite firm, which makes it easier for the person giving the massage to move around. However, as this tutorial is about basic erotic massage, I presume that you will probably be using your own bed, or a hotel bed. The only slight drawback with mattresses is that if you are not used to using them for a massage, they can make moving around and keeping the right posture a bit difficult.
Cover the bed with a couple of large towels and/or a large pareo to avoid staining it, especially from oil drops, if you are doing a body-to-body massage or if there is a fiery and passionate “happy ending”.
- Oil: use cold-pressed, virgin vegetable oil. There is a wide variety of massage oils that are suitable for an erotic massage. Some of the natural oils available are: sweet almond, hazelnut, coconut (very good, although it is quite thick so it needs heating before use), jojoba, argan, sesame and even olive oil (yes, olive), as long as it’s extra virgin. I can tell you that one of the best massages I have ever had was with olive oil. You can put the oil in a bowl but it is best to use just a little in case it overturns on the mattress, which is quite typical the first few times. A container with a lid is a better alternative. I do not recommend creams, because the skin absorbs them much faster. That said, if you do decide to use a cream, at least make sure that it is natural.
- Music: I think music is like the oil in an erotic massage, difficult to go without. It should be smooth, calm and sensual. Music should be used to create an atmosphere, isolating you from the rest of the world and calming you. It helps to reduce stress levels. Choose instrumental music preferably, or vocal tracks with a soft and sensual voice. It is the music that probably sets the rhythm of the massage, without you even realizing it, so choose the one that best suits your tastes, with the rhythm that you want.
- Clothing: dress comfortably if you are giving the massage. If you are the one receiving the massage, it is better to be completely naked. Of course, it’s also a good idea to do the massage naked. You can try giving the massage with and without clothing; you will see that the sensations are different with each option. If you find it hard to be patient and you finish the massage hastily, the fact that one of you is dressed can help this.
- Decoration: once you have everything ready, you can decorate the room; with petals, chocolates on the bed, a beautiful message or something that you know will make your partner happy.
- Love: it is important that love is present in everything you do. Giving an erotic massage with love means that the person giving the massage is attentive to the feelings of the person receiving. In turn, the recipient will adopt an attitude of surrender, and compassion, if at any time the masseur does something unexpected. Be understanding when you are the one receiving the massage, take note and learn from any awkward beginner moves that your partner might make.
Now that you have everything prepared, we will continue with the second part of the manual, where we focus on erotic massage.
Mini-tutorial How to give your partner an erotic massage (Part II)
How to give your partner an erotic massage. In the first part of this mini-tutorial we learnt how to prepare all the most important things before the massage; in this second part we will focus on giving you advice about the massage itself.
Before applying any oil on your partner’s body, you should stimulate the skin – one of the body’s largest organs – as discussed earlier. Start with slow, smooth movements, using caresses as though they were whispers lingering on the skin. It is very important to make slow movements so that your partner has time to savour each and every part of their body, and the different sensations that they experience. Do not rush; take time to explore every corner of your partner’s body. In the previous part of this tutorial, I set out a range of alternatives on how to stimulate the skin.
How to prepare the skin before a Tantric Massage
Oil: the oil should preferably be tempered or even slightly warm (never burning hot). Put a small amount of oil in your hands and then apply it to your partner’s skin. This way you make sure that it does not burn, or you can warm it up with your hands if it is too cold. Spread it slowly and gently, this is just the beginning.
Order: I recommend starting with the feet and massaging towards the head, as this is good to promote blood circulation; although starting with the head can also help you to avoid touching the genitals at the beginning of the massage. Practicing both ways is another good way to repeat the sensual massage.
Massage the whole body: slowly but surely. Savour every movement, both as the one giving the massage and the one receiving. You can combine long sweeping movements that cover the entire body with movements that focus on each of the different parts of the body.
Intensity and rhythm: play with the intensity and the rhythm of the massage. This is a very important factor, which will raise the massage to another level, although it does require some practice and experience.
Use what you know: if you already know some tantric massage techniques, do not hold back. You can incorporate any style of massage that you feel comfortable with, and from then on…
Improvise: whether you already have experience of giving massages or where you are just starting out, improvisation is vital. It may be the first time that you use a guide like this, but with practice you will see that it is not good to do the same every time, or in the same way. You should reinvent the massage each and every time.
Listen to your body: listen to your breathing and the beat of your heart, and observe your own level of arousal. If you can become totally aware of yourself, it will be easier for you to enjoy every movement whilst you are giving the massage, without getting carried away by the customary urge for quick penetration.
Listen to your partner’s body: once you are completely aware of your own body, you can observe your partner’s body in more detail. Observe their breathing, their skin, their degree of relaxation. Any reaction to the brush of your hands or your body on theirs is a sign that you are on the right track. By doing this, you can progressively increase the excitement, in myriad ways, when you feel that you are both ready. Adopt a loving and sensual attitude.
Flow: do not stop to analyze whether or not your technique is correct. The important thing is to make each movement flow into the next, and with practice you will improve. Let yourself go, be patient and conscious of your feelings of mutual arousal. There is no need to hold yourself back, so if at any time you feel hesitant about giving free rein to your passion, go ahead! There will be plenty more opportunities to play.
Stimulate undiscovered erogenous zones: after massaging the whole body, start by stimulating erogenous zones that you do not usually consider to be erotic. Start gently and gradually increase the intensity. Some of these unchartered erotic zones are: the ankles, the back of the knees, the front of the knees, the armpits, in the crook of the elbows, the wrists, the hands (palms and fingers), behind the ears, the earlobes, the lips, as well as others areas that you may notice that your partner likes. It is important that you bear in mind that things that you like may not be pleasurable for your partner. Similarly, even if you do not like something, respect the fact that it might be something that drives your partner drive with desire. Lastly, remember that something that works well one day may not necessarily become the norm, on a different day it may not have the same effect.
In the next part of the manual we will look at the best-known erogenous zones and how to stimulate them. We will focus mainly on the genital area (lingam and yoni).
Mini-tutorial How to give your partner an erotic massage (Part III)
Yoni and Lingam massage – Tantra for couples in Madrid
How to give an tantric massage as a couple – In the first two part of this mini-tutorial we learnt how to prepare all the most important things before the massage, as well as some basic tips for giving your partner a good erotic massage. In this third and final part, we will look at how to transform couple massage into a highly sexual charged experience.
Sexual Healing – Female Anorgasmia and Male Anorgasmia
The aim of erotic massage is not sexual healing, although it can be a therapeutic massage in many aspects. For women, it can help to resolve different degrees of female anorgasmia, frigidity or vaginitis. For men, it can cure cases of premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or male anorgasmia.
Stimulate familiar erogenous zones:
Now you are ready to stimulate the parts of the body that you already know to be more sexual, namely the breasts and the genitals. We will give specific instructions on how to stimulate your partner’s genitals later on. For now we will just focus on the chest area. Start in the area of the chest furthest away from the nipple and massage slowly, gradually getting closer to the nipple. When you reach the nipple, stroke it slowly at first, then you can increase the intensity, depending on your partner’s level of sensitivity. Try different movements, but avoid repeating the same technique over and over again in the same way. Building things up progressively will give you time to detect if you are going too far and be able to correct your movements, without spoiling the magic of the moment. It is very positive for women to spend more time massaging their breasts than for men. Massaging the breasts shifts the fat stored in that area, releasing both toxins and hormones. Also, thanks to the oil, it improves the elasticity of the skin, the shape of the breasts and can even increase their size.
Genital massage (Lingam and Yoni):
By this point, your partner will be very receptive to receiving a lingam massage (male genital massage) or yoni massage (female genital massage). We will not go into describing the technique with details, but we will cover the main tips on how to give tantric massages to women or men:
–Using slightly more oil than on the rest of the body:
Avoid too much friction; this area is more sensitive than other parts of the body. There again, too much oil can be unpleasant and reduce sensitivity. With patience, you will definitely find the perfect amount for your partner.
Avoid doing what you always do. Stimulate different areas, use your imagination. If you look carefully, even in a relatively small area, there are many points to explore. The G-Spot does exist, both in women and men, and is not as hidden away as you can think.
–Go from less to more:
Let your partner savour the movements, whilst you too enjoy massaging this exciting part of their body. Watch how your partner gets progressively more aroused. Surrender yourself with total devotion. It is an excellent opportunity to observe the sensations that you feel when you are the one giving the massage, and to figure out whether or not you can continue to observe yourself as the excitement nears the moment of climax.
–Discover your partner’s body:
You can always learn about new parts of the body and infinite ways to play with them, whilst caressing, exploring and stimulating such an intimate part of your lover’s body. You may be surprised to see your partner moving, moaning and enjoying themselves as you have never seen before.
In conclusion, if you have got this far congratulations are due, as this has no doubt been a totally new experience for you. Both of you are very excited by now for sure. You can follow up with more advanced massage techniques related to Tantra, such as tantric massage. As well as being a pleasurable experience, this also includes physical, mental and spiritual aspects. It is also an excellent time for good mahabakti, or tantric oral sex. Also, if you have already started along the path of Tantra, erotic massage can be part of advanced rituals such as “La Vía del Valle” and maituna, or tantric sex.
I really hope that you have enjoyed this tutorial. If you have any questions at all, or would like to learn more about erotic massage for couples, tantric massage or tantric sex, please feel free to contact me. It will be a pleasure to answer your queries.
In my next article I will discuss the topic of tantric massage with feathers, or gay massage.